I've always done my best thinking at night. As a child I had trouble falling asleep because of the constant obsessive thoughts coursing through my brain. Somehow I needed to expel them and find some peace.
I started writing in a diary as all little girls do...but after reading over my works I came to the realization that I just sounded like a whiney little brat and just ceased writing all together. As u may know, children tend to have selective memories and I would soon enough forget that I didn't like what I wrote the first twelve times and start up another journal...I had graduated from the princess diary with the lock and key...which didn't work very well anyway. Again I stopped writing in the newest journal...my mom will attest, I rarely finish what I start. Haven't figured out if I have ADD or am just too smart to waste my time on things that aren't fulfilling some type of need. Either way, I soon decided that when I do write I will just crumple it up and throw it in a shoe box or my nightstand drawer. to this day I still have the shoe box...I plan on a compilation of my younger works...but that's for another time.
There is something about the night...when all is quiet. its almost as if I am all alone in the world. its just me and my thoughts...they tend to envelope me, consume me. I can't rest until they are documented...I can however rest easy when the fear of "lost thought" subsides. Writing has been my only solution...even if it means lying in bed typing on my phone as I'm doing now.
What could possibly have me so engrossed you might be asking...its really my attempt to truly grasp how unpredictable life can be. Waking up one person and quite literally going to sleep another. How can anyone know what they will feel from one moment to the next? I do sometimes need to remind myself that I'm unique in a lot of ways...I'm not so different but even though people may be able to understand my school of thought doesn't mean they are able to teach at Absorbing Life University. Maybe people aren't inquisitive enough or have stopped asking themselves anything of importance. Have we as a society given up? Satisfied or content with a mundane existence? From the outside looking in things might seem mundane but I can say without any doubt that my mind is never satisfied...it is grateful but not content and I will continue to strive for what I believe in, continue to live my life as I see fit and enjoy every moment of it!
I started writing in a diary as all little girls do...but after reading over my works I came to the realization that I just sounded like a whiney little brat and just ceased writing all together. As u may know, children tend to have selective memories and I would soon enough forget that I didn't like what I wrote the first twelve times and start up another journal...I had graduated from the princess diary with the lock and key...which didn't work very well anyway. Again I stopped writing in the newest journal...my mom will attest, I rarely finish what I start. Haven't figured out if I have ADD or am just too smart to waste my time on things that aren't fulfilling some type of need. Either way, I soon decided that when I do write I will just crumple it up and throw it in a shoe box or my nightstand drawer. to this day I still have the shoe box...I plan on a compilation of my younger works...but that's for another time.
There is something about the night...when all is quiet. its almost as if I am all alone in the world. its just me and my thoughts...they tend to envelope me, consume me. I can't rest until they are documented...I can however rest easy when the fear of "lost thought" subsides. Writing has been my only solution...even if it means lying in bed typing on my phone as I'm doing now.
What could possibly have me so engrossed you might be asking...its really my attempt to truly grasp how unpredictable life can be. Waking up one person and quite literally going to sleep another. How can anyone know what they will feel from one moment to the next? I do sometimes need to remind myself that I'm unique in a lot of ways...I'm not so different but even though people may be able to understand my school of thought doesn't mean they are able to teach at Absorbing Life University. Maybe people aren't inquisitive enough or have stopped asking themselves anything of importance. Have we as a society given up? Satisfied or content with a mundane existence? From the outside looking in things might seem mundane but I can say without any doubt that my mind is never satisfied...it is grateful but not content and I will continue to strive for what I believe in, continue to live my life as I see fit and enjoy every moment of it!
No comments:
Post a Comment